dawn's early light

tuesday aft. in varanasi, feels like 200 degrees out and the air/dust/dirt factor needle is pointing into the red zone (choking) . . . but, as the prideful locals like to say, "not to worry, it's a hot, dry dirty, unlike the heavy stuff in delhi" . . .

5:30am found me on a brightly painted blue/red little wooden skiff out on the river ganges (nice how in english it's called the "river ganges" and not the "ganges river", sounds more revered), watching the sun rise . . . the ganges is the "great mother of india" and varanasi is built on river's western shore (facing east), and the river is wide, so as the sun comes up the cityshore is illuminated in increasing (but soft) pastel light . . . timelessly special . . . varanasi, especially toward the river bank, is uniquely beautiful and very, very old (mark twain called it -- then named benares -- "older than history itself") . . . (thankfully, the professional gentrifiers haven't made it to india yet (there ain't no san antonio "river walk" here) . . . seriously, reverentially and respectfully, this place is the real deal . . .

many many people come to the river at dawn to bathe, swim and pray . . . there is an energy, very sacred and very humbling (humbling partially because i just don't understand enough, tho i guess if i did i'd be humbled in a different way) . . . i don't think the feelings that come over a person in this setting can really be described, it's fodder for poets and artists and those who are able to translate what the heart says, but i do know that i've never felt anything like it . . . all i can say is that, as you float there, in the sunrise light, on that river in this place in this country, you know you're in the presence of something that is very old and divine and mysteriously incomprehensible. and here's the thing, it has a familiarity to it . . . it's a feeling, a knowledge that isn't coming only from where you are or what you are seeing or experiencing, it's coming from inside you, from way down deep. and it overwhelms.

there are two main "burning ghats" on the river bank, and they were both in use this morning (a ghat is a concrete platform at the bottom of concrete steps, kind of like a dock).

for many hindus, when the time comes, varanasi is the place to come and drop the body. it is believed that if one dies here, and their remains are burned on a ghat on the ganges, the soul is finally free to move on, not destined to return for yet another go around on this mortal coil. so hindus come from all over india to sacred varanasi to die and be freed.

i remember hearing a tape years ago of a talk ram dass gave where he described being here, and seeing all the old people with little bags tied around their waists, containing rupees (i.e., their life savings) to pay for the wood on which their bodies would be burned when they finally passed . . . they are here, i've seen them too, and as he remarked, it's odd to be here, a visitor from the prosperous west, and see these people who have virtually nothing, peaceful and satisfied because, near the end of their lives, they are exactly where they want to be . . . and i wonder if, as they look at me, and we make eye contact, if they can sense the almost embarrassed puzzled envy that's part of what i am feeling . . .

this morning i learned a little about the funeral rites, and after going ashore walked the path in the old part of the city where vendors sell the wrappings, sandalwood, bamboo, etc. for the cremations . . . again, all this at 6:30am as the holy men are chanting prayers, prayer bells are ringing and things are waking up . . . (i did take photos but they do not include the buring ghats) . . .

(btw, it's amazing that the folks who bathe in the ganges do not get sick, i've been told they don't because they are not "presdisposed" to, but i do know that there is an unending supply of raw sewrage poured into the river, dead animals dumped in, and i recently read that the "e-coli index" in the ganges at varanasi is something like 5 million times that what is considered safe . . . oddly, i did see fish jumping in the water, and some big ones at that)

after a couple of hours at the river, i visited two very old and sacred hindu temples, the vishnu temple at benares hindu university and the dirga temple (also known as the monkey temple) in the center of town . . . both were "in session" as there were many people praying, burning inscense, paying respects, ringing bells, etc. . . . no matter that i was obviously a visitor, i was welcomed in each and given flowers, "dinged" on the forehead with colored paste and had my wrist wrapped in a cotton thread bracelet . . .

earlier this morning i spoke to my (and for many of you "our") friend jilleee (jill hertrick in raleigh, nc) on the phone, she's having an increasingly rough go of it healthwise and as i told her i would i kept her in my thoughts as i went to these temples . . . in the dirga temple i lit inscense at a representation of hanuman (the hindu "monkey" god that represents devotion and presence) in her name . . . to all of you, she needs help and strength, pls. keep her in your thoughts . . .

tonight i ride the rails for 16 hours north into the mountains, headed for darjeeling in west bengal . . . i get giddy thinking i'll be breathing mountain air and seeing the snow-capped himalaya tomorrow afternoon, kanchenjunga(sp?), the world's 3rd highest mountain (after everest and k2), lies just to the north of darjeeling . . . from my first five days in india there is so much to digest and reflect upon, i look forward to the time on the train to begin doing so (i think it's going to take a loooooong time) . . .

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this emailed from friend jeff weyand (in washington state):
. . . and of course, you are a fan of the two great buddhist sports: hockey, where people race around chasing a virtually invisible object, and baseball the definition of timelessness.
-- yep he's right, and i guess (nhl) hockey this year represents the essence of buddhist transitory reality . . . "first something, then nothing"

have a nasty cold . . . very chest congested, lots of coughng, am going to find a pharmacy and get some expectorant . . .

today is my daughter emily's birthday . . .

jeff: got your message about talking with "the godly powers that be" here about their giving some help with your fantasy baseball team . . . with all the people here doing the same for india in its cricket match with pakistan (they got their butts kicked badly) i'm not sure these gods are particularly sensitive to sports outcomes, but i will try to do something for you (will you cut me in on your winnings if it turns out well?)

pam: no, no music here, not yet . . . did not bring a cd player/headphones but at the last minuite did throw a couple of zero/kv/skb disks in my bag to give to whoever might enjoy them . . . as of now they are untouched . . .

more soon. love to all. louise, i miss your sweet smile.